Monday, July 28, 2008

Ancient, But Justified.

Just a quick note to say that KLF Online is sort of back and running again having been mothballed for some time. They've just re-instated everything that was there before, downloads-and-all, so it's the "one stop shop" for "all your Drummond and Cauty related needs". If you need reminding why The KLF were the best thing ever to happen to pop music, have a look at this...

...and a read of this...


"Lieber and Stoller, Goffin and King, Berry Gordy, Chinn and Chapman and Pete Waterman have all understood the Golden Rules thoroughly. The reason why Waterman will not continue churning out number ones from now until the end of the century, and the others had only limited reigns, is not because Lady Luck’s hand strayed elsewhere or that fashion moved on, it is because after you’ve had a run of success your coffers are full, keeping strictly to the “GRs” is boring. It all becomes empty and meaningless. Some have become emotionally or business-wise embroiled with artists whose ambitions now lie elsewhere and far from merely having Number Ones. Lieber and Stoller could walk into a studio tomorrow and have a world-wide Number One in three months if they were so motivated.

The basic Golden Rules as far as they apply to writing a debut single that can go to Number One in the UK Charts are as follows:

Do not attempt the impossible by trying to work the whole thing out before you go into the studio. Working in a studio has to be a fluid and creative venture but at all times remember at the end of it you are going to have to have a 7-inch version that fulfills all the criteria perfectly.

Do not try and sit down and write a complete song. Songs that have been written in such a way and reached Number One can only be done by the true song-writing genius and be delivered by artists with such forceful convincing passion that the world HAS to listen. You know the sort of thing, “Sailing” by Rod Stewart, “Without You” by Nilsson.

What the Golden Rules can provide you with is a frame-work that you can fit the component parts into.

Firstly, it has to have a dance groove that will run all the way through the record and that the current 7-inch-buying generation will find irresistible. Secondly, it must be no longer than three minutes and thirty seconds (just under three minutes and twenty seconds is preferable). If they are any longer Radio One daytime DJs will start fading early or talking over the end, when the chorus is finally being hammered home – the most important part of any record. Thirdly, it must consist of an intro, a verse, a chorus, second verse, a second chorus, a breakdown section, back into a double length chorus and outro. Fourthly, lyrics. You will need some, but not many.

- from “The Manual (How To Have A Number One The Easy Way)” by Jimmy Cauty and Bill Drummond, 1988."

Good, eh?