Sunday, September 07, 2008

"That's a silly question..."

In response to this, here are a couple of articles from Smash Hits magazine, both from 1988.

(From the letters page)...

Dear Black Type,

I'm from "down under" in Melbourne. That's where Neighbours is filmed and since I know a bit about it, I would like to give the bloke who wrote to you, Norman Omar (21 Sept - 4 Oct), a few answers to his questions. Yes, it's true that Madge does marry Harold! Eileen is ditched at the altar (the person who plays Eileen died, so they wrote her out as if she'd just gone on holiday). Daphne is killed in a car accident and Des has to look after Jamie! Jim marries a doctor but doesn't move out of the house for months. Lucy does nearly die, but then she gets better and goes to boarding school! Charlene does marry Scott but because Kylie Minogue leaves, they have to write her out too. I hope that clears everything up for you, Norman.
Kayleen Wise, Victoria, Australia.

Yes, you're completely right that on the third "track" on the second side of Wilfred Grumble And The Incredibly Freaky Flashback Experience's seminal 1966 release "Hey Man! There's An Aubergine In My Brain", you certainly can hear the band's drummer Stig having a conversation about Nietzsche with a colander (but only if you stick your head fully into your left "woofer"). It undoubtedly is a long mighty long way down rock 'n' roll!!!!(?*£%!?$)

(From the Personal File featurette, an interview with Mags from A-ha...)

Full name: Magne Furuholmen
Date of birth: 1/11/62 in Oslo, Norway.
Do you have any brothers and sisters?
Yup, I've got one sister and two brothers. My sister's name is Line, but my brothers' names are far too long, so just put T and T (they're called Thorstein and Trygve actually - Ed), They're 15 and 17 years old and are both still at school, and Line, who's 20, is at college studying market research.
Do you have any pets?
No, but my family have a lot of pets - dogs, cats, sheep...they live on a farm you see. I think it would be rather unfair if I kept a pet because I travel around the world so much. I suppose the closest thing I've got to a pet is my cow-skin leather jacket, ha ha. (?)
Where do you live now?
London - I thought that was, uh, a pretty well-known fact. Whereabouts? Heh heh heh, no chance mate. It's quite a nice flat, but I don't have a lot of furniture because i like to have very little to distract my mind when I'm resting. (??) I don't think I have one picture on my wall, but I do have a lot of pictures standing around me, I do a bit of painting in my spare time, so I keep my pictures around me - like children. (???)
How tall are you?
1.86 metres - that's just over six feet. I was a very slow developer until I was about 16, then I grew about eight inches in one year, so I slept a lot that year. Why? Well you do when you grow, don't you?
Do you have any famous ancestors?
One of my ancestors was a Norwegian king back in the Iron Age. He was a Viking, yes, but he was a big cissy. He used to dress up in women's clothes and hang out with the wandering minstrels.
What do you do last thing at night?
I meditate, mainly because I tend to get very tense and stressful during the day when we're touring, which we are now (in Germany). You just clear your head of all thoughts and relax. It's based on, em, some kind of Eastern rubbish I suppose. I also like to have a sauna sometimes too. Do I like it very hot? Yes, I usually pour vodka on the glowing stones and get really drunk heheheehee! I wouldn't recommend it though because sometimes it blows up...
Has anyone ever given you a blow-up iguana?
A what? Oh! No, but sometimes when we're on stage, people throw these eight-foot blow up whales during "Looking For The Whales". I've kept one at home.
Who would you most like to go Scandinavian back-packing with? Would it be a) Terence Trent D'Arby; b) Paul Weller; c) Tommy Cunningham or d) Tiffany?
Paul Weller's had a big influence on me, so he would be interesting I suppose. Terence Trent D'Arby is a nice guy, but I'm not sure he enjoys back-packing. No, it's not true that he threw a profiterole at me during the BPI Awards. He threw some stuff around and some of it did hit our table, but I don't think he was aiming at us. Tommy Cunningham? I've never heard of him. Ginger-haired chap? Oh well, good luck to him. Tiffany? What about her? No, I don't really fancy the idea. I think Paul Weller would be the best, even though he might annoy me with his high-brow conversations. Back-packing is a seriuos business - you can't take it lightly, you know.
What would you like to come back as in a later life?
What? Uuuuuh....(wheezes furiously). I don't really perceive the world that way, but I think what you're asking me is whether I'm happy the way I am or would I like to be someone else. And that's a silly question.
Is there anything more disgusting than having to clean scrambled eggs out of a saucepan? I dunno - I don't cook my scrambled eggs in a saucepan. I've got a microwave, man.
Do you ever lie in bed and think to yourself "It's just like punk never happened!"?
Yes! Punk was really important and it strenghthened the whole music industry, so we need something like that again.
Have you ever found any silver fish in your mattress?
No! It would scare me to death that one. Oh! We've got to go to the soundcheck. Last question!
What's your favourite word that rhymes with Mags?
I don't know any words that rhyme with Mags. Do you have any? Fags? That's not really my favourite. Bags, tags, rags...I don't have any favourites. Any I particularly dislike? Nope. (Click! Brrrrrr....)

Priceless! I'll post more example of this sort of thing as I find them.